Obese = Offensive

I had to go to the doctor yesterday. It's the kind of doctor that women don't like to go to. We'll call her 'Dr. Peek and Poke', shall we? (Shannon - I know you just said 'nice' out loud.)

I waited and waited for my appointment while thinking of the million other things that I needed to get done while I was in town. I kept looking at my watch thinking 'this is the last place I want to be and COME ON already'. I figured the doctor was with her patients that are pregnant and I remembered how I probably caused the same reaction a time or two.

Finally I got called back by the nurse. "Take off your shoes so we can get a height and weight." I said "Can't I just tell you? Do I really have to show you too?" The look on her face said "Yes - and shut it". I got on the scale and it was right where I thought it was going to be which is much better than 10 pounds more. I measured in at 5 foot 1 and 1/4 inch. That's right - 1/4 of an inch. She said it and I'm claiming it. I've earned it. Ok, so I've been that same height since High School. Mind your own business.


The nurse had me come to her little corner spot so she could ask me some questions. "It says here that your mother and father are still living. Has that changed?" I'm not positive how my dad has anything to do with Dr. Peek and Poke, but whatever. "It also says that your Grandparents are still alive. Has that changed?" Can you even imagine the look on my face? I assured her that everything was the same. The only thing different is my potassium issue.

While she was asking me what I thought were ridiculous questions, I noticed a chart that was right at my eye level (probably about 4'11", Justin, which I AM NOT....aren't these little outbursts making you feel better?). It showed a grid of weight and height. You know what I'm talking about. The one that makes you feel nothin' but great about yourself. But this chart was like none other than I'd seen. Not only does it call you fat, but it tells you just how fat you actually are. It calls you names. Here are your choices: overweight, obese, morbidly obese and.....crap! I can't remember the last one. Probably 'Hungry Hungry Hippo' but I can't remember for sure.

Anyway, as I'm sitting there looking at it wondering what my Grandparents have to do with my body, I follow the chart. I mean, it's really what they want you to do, right? I let out a bellar of a laugh. The skinny nurse sitting in front of me looked up from writing. I said "Hmmm, I guess I'm obese." She looked at me like "Well, if she shoe fits"....FOR REAL! She looked at me and kind of nodded. That cracked me up even more. I thought to myself "Little nurse girl - I might only be 5 foot 1 and 1/4 inches tall, but I'm fixin' to come out of this Hungry Hungry Hippo shell and beat the crap out of you - so shut it!" (Read that correctly Mother - I only thought it.) Not only did the chart call me obese, which, come on - I get tough love, but seriously...... Not only did the chart call me obese, but I was just a few points (or marks or something) away from being able to consult a doctor about weight loss surgeries. WhatTheHeck?

Finally I got to see the doctor and she went on and on about how wonderful I looked. She loved my brown hair. She loved my hair style (it's because it's cute). She thought I'd lost all this weight. Um, check with Nurse BuzzKill out front. She'll let you know that's not the case. I assured her that the only reason I look like I've lost weight is because she's seen me more times pregnant than not. For reals. It's true. I told her about the chart and that it called me obese. She laughed at me and told me not to pay attention to it. Easier said than done, that's for sure.


I guess it just adds fuel to my fire. I don't usually make New Years Resolutions, but this one has to be done. I don't enjoy this weight and I have no reason to not at least try to part with it. I know I have a busy life with a busy family, but 45 minutes on a treadmill isn't going to kill me. Who knows, maybe next year I'll only be overweight. We all have to have goals you know. ;)