With her permission, respectively

I've written this and deleted it at least 4 times now. Every time I write what I think I want to say, I read it and delete it. It's either too wordy or too....something.

So, here I go again.

For the past few weeks I've been going through a personal hell. As you may know, my mother has Multiple Sclerosis. She's had it for 37 years. I know that she's more fortunate that some, but her day to day living isn't easy.

She walks with a walker and has a brace on her leg. On most days her leg jumps as she has muscle spasms. I have the same muscle spasms due to Restless Leg Syndrome. It hurts. I feel lucky to only have to deal with the pain about once a week. She deals with it every day.

Some days she has a hard time getting out of bed. The summer heat makes her tired and weak. The bitter cold makes her body hurt.

Her bladder and bowels don't work as they should. I'll just leave that as it is.

She can't reach into her pocket for change because she can't feel with her fingertips. Her writing is very hard to read because her hands also don't work as they should.

And balance? There is no such thing with her.

As if this weren't enough, she's losing her short term memory at warp speed. I'm not talking about she can't remember what she had for lunch yesterday. I'm talking she can't always remember what she did 20 minutes ago.

When she wakes up in the morning she has to go to the computer to see what day it is. A calender is of no help to her. She'll know that she has to do something after lunch, but after lunch she'll have no idea what it was she was supposed to do.

I took her to SF for some testing on Monday. It's supposed to show where the memory loss is coming from. She cried because she knows she didn't do well on it. I have no idea what's wrong with her - I only know that something is very wrong with her.

She talked to my sister Monday night and forgot by Wednesday.

I'm scared for her.

I'm scared for me.

I'm meeting my Mom and Step-dad in SF to get the results of the test on Tuesday. I need you to pray that medication can help her.

I really, really need you to pray.