Prior funnies

Before I had a blog I wrote all the funny things Nathan did or said in my daily planner. Here are some of them. Remember - he was only 3 years old during this time. Some I guess happened right after he turned 4. This is long - so bare with me.....skim if you must.

• Nathan: It's not a good idea to call you a barnacle head, right?
  Me: That's right. I'm glad you asked before you decided to do that.
  Nathan: You know that's what Squidward calls Spongebob and Patrick, right?
  Me: I do know that. It's still not a good idea.


• Nathan was playing with his doctor set one day and wanted to take my blood pleature.
  


• I gave Justin a box of Turtles for Valentine's one year. Nathan opened up the box and thought those 'hippos' looked delicious!


• Nathan: I'm so tired I'm gonna sleep like a hippo.....or a pig.


• Nathan: Can we eat at 'Subway eat fresh' tonight?


• We were in Sioux Falls one day and Natey was being a handful. Trying to mend the fence by making conversation he said "Mommy, aren't all those candylions beautiful?"
  
• In April of 2006 Nathan said "I don't know how to tell you this - Santa is upset with his crew and the elves aren't doing things right. I'm sorry I had to tell you that."
  


• Nathan: My heart told me to be shy around McKenzie. (She was a little girl in his class. He'd just turned 4 and already a casanova.)


• I was 4 months pregnant with Jack and already showing when Nathan was trying to get past me in our very small bathroom. He was eye to eye with my belly and said "Well excuse me belly".


• One of the officers that Nathan thinks is pretty wonderful drove by our house and waved at him. He came running inside saying "Guess who drove by and waved at me!!! JESSE! He's a good friend to me....and I like his hair."


• I was outside with Nathan and Claire when the annoying little girl from up the alley came walking by with her friends. She said "These are my neighbors. HELLO NEIGHBORS." I smiled and hoped with all I had in me that Nathan wouldn't talk back to her. He said "What did she say?" I was trying to ignore him. He said it again - only louder "WHAT DID SHE SAY? Did she just call me a looser???"


• Nathan had been asking what words meant a lot. I had been pretty proud of myself being able to answer most of them. Then came a day when we were driving back from Sioux Falls. He said "What does dirt bag mean?" I didn't know what to tell him so I said it was someone who wasn't very nice. He was immediately sad, hung his head and said "Great, I'm a dirt bag because I sometimes pee my pants." I tried to explain to him that he was wrong but he wouldn't have it. He (- sigh -) was a dirt bag.


• One night when Natey was trying anything not to have to go to sleep - the following conversation occurred:
  Nathan: Daddy, when will I loose my teeth?
  Justin: It will be a couple of years.
  Nathan: Will it be a Tuesday? And will it be right on time?
  Justin: (Speechless)


• Natey: Mommy - what are you going to be when you grow up a little?
  Me: This is as big as I'm going to get. I'm a 911 dispatcher.
  Natey: (He seemed very confused.) Oh, well I'm going to be a football player.


• Natey was a bit infatuated with male and female anatomy. He was very interested in my boobs and the boobs of other women. He noticed that some were small and some weren't so small. One day he nudged me and I told him not to do that because it hurt my boobs. He asked if he'd ever have boobs. I told him that boys and girls have different kind of boobs. He told me that his daycare lady's daughter had big, BIG boobs - right in front of her. Fantastic! (Buckle your seat belts people.) One day he went to the bathroom and came out wanting answers. He pointed....down there....and said "MOM - does my weenie have boobs???" (Oh lordy!)
  

Ok, this last one is more of a story. Here we go.....

I went through Arby's one day while in Sioux Falls shopping with the kids. Nathan didn't want anything to eat, but wanted some chocolate milk. So I got it for him and asked them for a cup which they gave me as well. I had to go to the beauty supply sore for some stuff and told him that I wanted him to stay in the van with Claire so that I could go quickly. That was fine with him. So, I gave him the remote for his video, remote started the van (now having 11 minutes on the clock), locked it, and ran inside. I was quick - the van was still running by the time I got out. Just what I wanted! I opened the door where Claire sits and noticed that things didn't look quite right. I looked at Claire and there was chocolate milk all over her coat. She had it on her face, in her hair - all over. I looked at Nathan and he had it on his face too. I asked him what happened and he got this horrid 'Oh crap' look on his face. He said, "Well, I had a problem with my milk." I asked what kind of problem he had. He said, "Some of my milk came out of my straw." I didn't REALLY have time to sit and listen so in my mind I thought he must have been drinking his milk and his straw slipped out of his mouth. I've done that myself. However, there was much more milk than that on Claire. So I shut the door and as I walked over to Natey's side of the van (to wipe him up) I realized what I thought might have been the 'problem' with his straw. I opened the door and I said "Did you put milk in your straw and then blow it at your sister?" He looked at me with those HUGE puppy dog eyes and said "Uh-huh".

It cracked me up because I'm sure Peach thought this was some kind of fun! Of coarse Natey started laughing too - which made me laugh harder. Then when I finally could, I told him that I was upset that he did that and blah, blah, blah. He said "But I'm still a good boy, right?" "Um no! No you're not!" I told him. Well, you would have thought I told him that he only had seconds to live. He cried and cried trying to redeem himself. About every 3 minutes he'd say "But I'm a good boy now, right?" Ugh, that kid!