Friday, October 19, 2007

That was different, right?

Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays Nathan is taken to Tracy's house before school. Someone then takes the kids to school from there. Nathan LOVES doing this. Thursday and Friday mornings I run around our house as if my hair is on fire, trying to get Nathan and myself ready for our day.

Due to the fact that children don't understand time, I usually, at some point, raise my voice to Nathan. I hate it. I hate that I do it and I hate that it gets to that point.

Lord only knows what I was asking for him to hurry about on Thursday, but I, as usual, was running behind. The look on his face when I scold him pierces me to my soal.

Finally we got in the van.

Silence.

I was 3 blocks from our house when I said "Natey, I love you." "Me too, Mom" was his response.

Silence.

From the back of the van I hear "That was different, right?" I was puzzled. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"It was different from when we're at Tracy's, right?" (when we're saying good-bye to each other)

Indeed it was.

10 comments:

Tess said...

Oh my goodness! It is an amazing story!! He is such a big guy, so smart!!

I hear ya on the feeling bad thing! I do that too!

Jamie said...

What a smart one you have there!! Too cute!!

I feel the same..it is too bad that raising our voices actually has to happen to get some things done!

Heidi Jo said...

this hits me hard. as i so often have feelings of guilt after snapping at, or hollering at my kids. (and i know you well enough to know that you 'raising your voice'- is something very different from my hollering)

i always wonder what damage is done...and is it fixable?

Cari said...

Ugh, I completely feel you on this one. Every day I pray for a level head when dealing with this stuff, but it doesn't always happen. Then I hear the kids yelling at each other and I wonder if I did that to them, and more importantly, can I reverse it?

Cari said...

Ugh, I completely feel you on this one. Every day I pray for a level head when dealing with this stuff, but it doesn't always happen. Then I hear the kids yelling at each other and I wonder if I did that to them, and more importantly, can I reverse it?

Cari said...

Oops, didn't mean to post that twice....sorry!

Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you. I hated it when my kids were small and I hate it today. They didn't understand it all when they were little and now they do. Too bad I snap and then like Heidi I have to look back and wonder, "What did I just do to my child's spirit?" even though she is grown. Man, this is the part of being a mom I just hate. I can only hope and pray that the times like these were few and far and that hopefully I somehow was trying to protect or help my kids in some way. Ah, it's not easy :/

Jennie Thompson said...

Are you sure he isn't 12? He's so smart!

Just Mom said...

You have an amazing little guy there. Very perceptive.

the boedecker family said...

You have a very smart amazing little boy there Kerrie!! It is so hard to not snap and the guilt is even harder to bear! Mornings are the worst no matter how early you get started!