Healing

We're trying to figure out our new normal in life. It's not easy. We really hit a rough patch. Loosing Gary was so unexpected and so sad.

Gary and his family are very close. He was a man of few words. He listened way more than he actually spoke. He was a very gentle man - soft spoken. As you can see, he had a smile that lit up a room, however, he wasn't always easy to smile.

I met Gary October 31, 1997. Justin and I had just gone to a Garth Brooks concert in Sioux Falls. After the concert it was time to meet the family. YIKES! Being a child of divorce, I found it strange that his parents were still married. (Crazy - I know.) After I met Gary I told Justin that he was a cute little Santa (he was wearing a Santa hat on top of his cowboy hat).

From that day on, Gary loved to razz me. We're talking about 12 years of razzing. Some days it got old. Very old. Some days it hurt my feelings. Some days I'd bite back with all the venom I had in me - then I felt horrible.

Gary loved his family. He called Justin sometimes 3 times a day. Some days it drove me crazy. Most days. Gary used to call the house phone, but then must have gotten word that it was driving me crazy, so started to call Justin's cell. That made it better.

Then Gary died.

I would do anything to make that phone ring. Anything.

The second that Justin told me about his dad, all I could think was "did he know that beyond everything I loved him?" It still puts a pit in my stomach.

The morning of the viewing I reached out to my friend, Jamie Mechels. If anyone has felt the intense feeling that I'm feeling, she has. She's dealt with Chad's death with grace and poise. I needed her help. I needed her words. I needed a pep talk.

She said, "It's hard not to remember the bad thoughts or the arguments that you've had with with your loved one. It's going to be hard, but it's going to get better. It's changed my outlook on everything." The most poignant words she said were these; "Life can change in an instant, and you never know when that instant is going to be. The only thing I can do, is move forward and try not to regret the bad times, but to remember the good times. It's hard to do, but it will come." That spoke to me - volumes.

Thank you, Jamie, for the words that I needed to hear.

Before I wrap this up, I want to say Thank You to every single person that e-mailed me, text me, called and sent their condolences on Facebook. The outreach of support was overwhelming. I wish I could fill your hearts the way that you helped fill ours. Until you go through it, you'll never know the important roll you played in our healing. Thank you.

May 5th, 9:30PM

I had other things that I wanted to write about, but none are as important as this post is.

May 5th, 2009 at 9:30PM will forever be burned in my mind.

Justin's Mother called our house at that moment to tell us that Justin's Dad had been killed in a vehicle accident.

May 5th, 2009 has forever changed the man that my husband is. It will forever change the wonderful woman that my mother-in-law is. It will change the life of my sister-in-law who is pregnant.

We don't know the details of the accident at this time.

Within 15 minutes, an officer was at our door with tears pouring out of his eyes grieving with Justin. Before I knew it, Tracy was at my door and scooping Justin and I up in her arms. Within a half hour of the call, Justin was on his way to Pierre to be with his Mom. Not long after that, a friend came over that I'd had a falling out with about a year and a half ago. He put his feelings aside and came to be with me, his friends wife.

In a few hours I'm going to have to break Nathan's heart. He's a self proclaimed "Papa Fan". I doubt that Claire is going to understand, but she'll more than likely react the way others around her react.

How am I going to do this? How am I going to tell Nathan?

I'll get through it I guess. I'll do the best I can do. It's all I've got.

I'm going to cancel my appointments for Wednesday and stay home with the kids. After that - I'm not sure. If I'm not behind my chair - I'm not getting paid...an ENORMOUS downfall of being self employed.

We were lucky enough to see my father-in-law this past Friday and Saturday. We had plans to see him again this Friday. Nathan's birthday is Sunday and we were going to have his party on Saturday. We'll have to see what happens.

Please pray for the entire Meyer family. We are all hurting right now.

So please, pray.

Wild weekend

We had a wild and fun weekend. It started with my nephews coming Friday night. Their parents needed to go to SF, so the boys stayed with us that evening until one of them returned late that evening - which my kids loved.

Saturday started bright and early at the salon. It was my last weekend of prom hair for the season. I'm not a fan of prom hair - or wedding hair for that matter - but I do it. My prom girls ROCKED on Saturday. None of them were fussy and their hair looked great. It was nice - and even a little fun.

I worked an hour late on Saturday to get in as many styles as I could. After that it was time for Caymen's birthday party. It's hard for me to believe that she's only 3. She's as tall or maybe even taller than Claire and can do just as much as she can. I can't understand her as well as I can Claire - which is the only reminder that is really is 3.

We woke up to snow that morning. I actually didn't mind it because the night Tracy was in labor with Caymen - it snowed. It actually warmed my heart to see the snow because of the memory of her being born. Crazy, I know.

Caymen loves her some Kerrie, which always makes me smile. When she first started to want to use the phone, she wanted to call me. I eat up all the Caymen attention that she gives me. It warms my heart. Caymen is also the president of the Claire fan club. They love each other like crazy. Caymen is always the first one to greet Claire and Jack when we get to daycare.

I think she enjoyed her birthday. Here are some pictures.

Sunday afternoon we had Claire's spring concert. She missed her one at Christmas due to illness. I wasn't sure how she'd do, but she did great! The first picture was taken by Just Mom. Thanks! The others, as you'll be able to tell, were taken by me. :)Here is a picture of Roo with his hair done for the concert. He really needs a hair cut. I wonder who could help him out?After the concert I took Nathan and Claire to the circus. Here they are in the van - ready to go.The circus was fun...well mostly fun. To say that Claire is terrified of clowns is putting it mildly. Holy buckets! She turned and ran from me at one point. She didn't mind the clowns when they were doing a skit, but she DID! NOT! want them near her - that was for sure.

And these last two pictures? Well, they are just for pure amusement. :)

A rainbow connection

Did you see the rainbow last night? I'm going to tell you why I can't get enough of this kid. It's because when he saw the rainbow he said "Mom! This is the perfect birthday gift for Claire and Earth Day."

There are days that I just want to eat him up!

Claire turns 4!!!

On Saturday I was very careful to say 'Peach, this is only your party. Your birthday is Wednesday.' I really thought it was sinking in... Until yesterday morning when I said "Who's REAL birthday is it tomorrow?" She got a HUGE smile on her face, threw her arms up in the air and said "CAYMEN!!!!"

Today, my love, is your birthday. You bring my life such joy. From your big, sparkling eyes to your perfect lisp. I love all of you. You fought back from being septic when you were only 2 months old - a fight that scared us to death.

You make our house complete - even with the drama that oozes out of your body. There are days when I worry what my life will be like in 10 years, but for now - you are simply the best.

We love you so, so much. I'm so glad that God chose me to be your Mom. Today we celebrate the day you were born 4 years ago. We give you gifts to show our love. However, today I celebrate the perfect gift that was given to me - 4 years ago today. We love you.

Birthday party

We had Peach E. Pie's birthday party this weekend. Her actual birthday is Wednesday. She'll (somehow) be 4. It's unbelievable to me how time flies. 4? Wowzer.

We had a princess birthday party at the bowling alley. I was amazed at how well the kids did. Nathan and Dawson bowled 5 games on their own while the 7 party goers didn't quite make it to their 10th frame. Everyone had a good time though.

The real deal

Claire was reading me a story the other day. (Make sure to notice the story book that she was reading from.) She told me about the "Hundred naked Wood" where Winnie the Pooh lives.

I just about peed laughing.

I stopped her and asked her to read it again.

THIS, people, this is Experiencing life Kerrie Meyer style.

PS: She dressed herself and combed her hair herself that day. (giggle)

PSS: Don't miss the post under this one. The video cracked me up.

Jerry's kids?

Here is a video I took at Easter. My Mom and Roger came to spend the night with us and brought Mom's new scooter. The kids COULD! NOT! WAIT! to ride it.

Let me set the scene. As you probably know, we live across from McDonald's. As you'll see in the video, the restaurant was very busy on Easter.

At one time during the day we had Nathan and Claire driving and riding the scooter while Jack was being pushed in Mom's wheelchair by his Papa. I was positive that the patrons of McDonald's were wondering if we were having a telethon for the Children's Miracle Network in my front yard or something. My goodness. At least they had fun.

The Zoo

Hi there. I know - it's been a little bit. I want to tell you about our Easter, but I'm going to tell you about our trip to the zoo first.

Today I took the kids with me to do my running around in Sioux Falls. Jack makes this task MUCH harder than it needs to be. First of all, we have to stop and talk to all the 'babies' he sees. Now, they could be 3 year olds, but nonetheless - his babies. He was trying to coax a 'five' (or pibe as he says it) out of a youngster in the beauty supply house.

The problem with Jack is that he doesn't listen....to anyone. I'm not used to that. Nathan and Claire have always been pretty well behaved, but Jack?, well, Jack is a different cat.

After suffering through two supply stores, the party store, and Wal-Mart, it was time for a surprise trip to the zoo.

Jack loves animals. It's his life goal to know exactly what Drake (our outside dog) is doing every single moment of the day. Usually he finds him sleeping in the back yard. He'll come and grab my hand and whisper "Meer! I show you something!" He loves that dog (as long as it's from a distance).

Jack was introduced to a video called "A day at the San Diego Zoo" at Tracy's house. We made the $5 purchase and were able to empty the dishwasher without the help of Jack. Ever since - he's loved animals. We buy him animal book after animal book. In therapy he's golden - as long as it has to do with animals.

I knew this trip would be up his alley.

And it was.

Nathan really liked this camel. I didn't bring my camera, so these pictures are from my phone. Natey thought this camel was trying to "look handsome" for his picture. He might be right. He looks very proud.
Jack loved the monkey's. There was a baby there that was adorable. I tried to get a picture of it, but it didn't turn out too well. He doesn't look near as small as he actually was.
There was an even smaller monkey hangin' out with its Momma. I took the picture, but black and black don't really show that well.
However, once you lighten the picture, you see near her right foot - is her precious little baby.
Here are Jack and Claire enjoying themselves. They were so stinkin' cute!
I loved the giraffes. I was curious though; one was light brown and the other was dark. Anyone know why? They were sure beautiful.
Jack really, really loved the bears. Claire was pretty much done by then, so we had to tear him away from the bears. He wasn't happy about it.
He found this gong thing that made him pretty happy. Getting a picture of him was near impossible. This was the best of many.
And last but not least - the tigers. They were pretty active today. They freaked Natey out. He wasn't a fan....well that's not totally true - he liked them from a distance.
It was the perfect day for a trip to the zoo. All the animals were out and moving around. Usually we go in July when it's so hot all they do is lay in the shade - which is never close to where you are.

Jack offered each animal a high pibe, but we had no takers. Well, an ostrich almost took him up on it and gave Nathan a heart attack. Thankfully the SCREAM! that Nathan let out scared the ostrich. He was positive that Jack could have lost an eye. Good old 'do as you're told, Nathan' saved the day.

Say hello

To my adorable new friend!

The multitasker

This weekend Jack learned to wink and give thumbs up.
Well, kinda sorta.
:)

Victoria, I figured out your Secret

Who knew a pretty pink bottle could hold so much power? I never knew. I bought this when we were in Rapid City. It's contents are liquid gold.

Claire marches to the beat of her own drum. I have no idea where she gets it. Ahem.

This bottle of pretty pink potion will make her do just about anything. Here are a few examples:

Me: Claire, it's time for a bath.

Claire: I DON'T WANT A BATH!!!

Me: If you take a bath, I'll put the pretty pink lotion on you.

Splash.

Me: Claire, it's time to brush your hair.

Claire: I DON'T WANT TO BRUSH MY HAIR!!!

Me: If you brush your hair, I'll put the pretty pink lotion on you.

You get the picture.

So, Victoria, your Secret is out of the bag at our house.

Um....another cut

Remember last October when I gave my finger a bit of lipo? Well, I did the same kind of thing yesterday. The only difference is that I didn't cut the skin off all the way.

I was kind if in a hurry, not bad but it was 4:30 and I get a little freaky if I'm still with a client at that time. Anyway, I was going to layer my clients hair when *YEOUCH*!

Then blood.

Instead of being thinner, I made it chubby. I'm not sure if I did the right thing, but the skin was kinda laying over, so I stuck it back on. I don't know. I guess it will work. Well....we'll see how well it works in about an hour and a half when I get to work.

Today's gotta be better than that!

I can't talk

I'm not in today.

I'm out.

Out where?

Buying his........new CD.

Goodness golly he is hot!

Defying Gravity!

I promise, not even a blizzard will keep me from it.

GO TEAM! :D

Random, random, random

Look what was hanging on our neighbors house the other day. I just about freaked when Justin pointed it out to me. ACK!!!!

On our way out to Rapid, I like to take pictures of a billboard that has my father-in-laws picture on it. Ok, so maybe it isn't him, but that's what I think he looked like in the 70's......if I only had more of a reference for you. Believe me, it's good stuff.

Here are the kids wearing my beer goggles. I got them to wear on St. Patrick's day, but it was kind of a sad time for me so I didn't wear them much. The kids sure enjoyed them though.

Nathan said "These are rootbeer glasses, right?" Um, of coarse they are. Duh.

I'm not exactly sure what Peach was doing in this picture, but I just thought it was a cute picture of her. Totally fits under 'Random, random, random'.

Here is a picture of one of Nathan's latest obsessions. His name is Ben. He got his Eagle Scout pin yesterday. We were invited to his ceremony and wouldn't have missed it. Nathan LOVES him some Ben. They did a slide show and Nathan hardly blinked. I was sure he was going to ask to be in Boy Scouts. Not as much. He asked when Ben could come over and play Wii with him.

The end.